Sex Wars
by Stiterra
Summary: Okay, this is a hentaied spoof of Star Wars! This was actually at the CG Animation thing a few years ago. I really liked it, so I decided to make a script of it and post it here. (To the people who made the movie: PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!) Enjoy.


Okay, this is a hentaied spoof of Star Wars! The characters consist of  
Commander Jode; a small, fat, purple alien with 4 tentacles coming out of  
his head with a quick temper; a robotic engineer; more like C-3PO on his  
period; Sax; a sexy robotic alien whose job is to please Jode, very mellow.  
ENJOY!(  
Jode: Captains log, Commander Jode speaking, we're nearing the end of our 5  
hour mission to deliver proto..  
Engineer: Uh excuse me.  
Jode: What?  
Engineer: Who are you talking to?  
Jode: ships recorder.  
Engineer: Oh. ...It's broken.  
Jode: Wha? Then what the hell have you been fixing for the last few days?  
Engineer: The trans-digital Frion Converter.  
Jode: And what's that for?  
Engineer: It makes ice cubes.  
Jode outraged: WHAT?!?! You mean to tell me that with all this CRAP that's  
wrong with the ship, you start with the F@*king ice machine?!  
Engineer: Listen to me you fat, purple, shit pile! I'M the ships engineer  
so I decide what gets fixed first! So if you don't like it, go screw  
yourself!  
Jode: I'M THE CAPTAIN HERE!! That does it!  
::Jode takes a metal pipe and walks toward the engineer::  
Jode: come here! Come here!  
Engineer: now hold on a minute.  
Jode: I said COME HERE!  
Engineer: Oh you want a piece of me eh?  
::Engineer flips open his index finger to reveal a mini blow-torch::  
Engineer: Bring it on!  
::Before the Engineer can attack, Jode knocks his head backwards with the  
pipe::  
Engineer: Oh this is fair. ::Sarcastically::  
::Jode continues to knock the crap out of the engineer until Sax walks in,  
dressed I might add.::  
Jode: Now, fix the f@*king hyper drive!  
::Now notices Sax is watching::  
Jode: Oh. Hello Sax.  
::Throws pipe away and sits back in his chair all tense.::  
Sax: You know, hyper drive is useless in this part of the galaxy.  
::Notices how tense Jode is::  
Sax: Ohhhh. Would you like a hand-job?  
Jode: Ye- no. No. Thank you Sax that'd be nice but I'm too pissed off to  
enjoy it anyway.  
Sax: Are you sure?  
::Sax starts rubbing one of his tentacles.::  
Sax: I think I can change your mind.  
::both laugh and chuckle until they see four rays of light appear in front  
of them.::  
::From the light comes a black figure and three white figures, all backs  
turned against Jode and Sax::  
Black figure: Now I got you!  
::Notices there's no one in front of him he turns around and sees Jode and  
Sax.::  
::The three white figures look like storm troopers, while the black figure  
looks like Darth Vadar except for the fact he has a clown head.::  
::Dark Clown turns to one of the storm troopers.::  
Dark Clown: I told you we were facing the wrong way!  
Storm Trooper: But sir I thought...  
:: Dark Clown raises his hand and turns the storm troopers' head into a  
balloon-shaped poodle and blows up.::  
Dark Clown: Insect!  
::Turns to Jode::  
Dark Clown: Hello Jode!  
Jode: Darth Bozo! (I'm gonna call Darth Bozo D.B.) Hmph, thought I smelled  
shit. What do you want?  
D.B: Hmm. What do I want? Oh yeah.. BLOODY VENGENCE!  
Sax: Where do you know this guy from?  
Jode: Oh, uh. D.B. and I were prisoners' together one time or another.  
Engineer: Oh don't tell me. Judging by his size, I would say you were the  
bitch, am I right?  
::Jode looks down::  
Jode:.......  
D.B: And who are you?  
Engineer: Uh. Nobody.  
Jode: Alright D.B. Let's get this over with!  
D.B: Lets!  
::D.B. Raises his hand and shoots lightning out of em. Jode dodges it.::  
D.B: HA HA HA HA HA !!  
Jode: Why don't you fight without using your faget, clown-powers!?  
D.B: Very well. Faget clown-powers indeed.  
::D.B. pulls out a red light-saber and on accident, cuts a storm trooper in  
half.::  
::D.B. whispers to his last storm trooper::  
D.B. If he starts to win, shoot him.  
Storm Trooper: Yes Sir!  
::Since Jode has no light-saber he dodges all of D.B.s' attacks. Somewhere  
during the fight, D.B. cuts the storm troopers' head off. Jode grabs the  
engineer by the legs and uses him as a sword.::  
Jode: Come on you makeup-wearing freak!  
::D.B. cuts the engineer in half::  
Engineer: Bastard!  
::Jode, still holding the engineers' legs, get's them cut in half. D.B.  
points his light-saber in front of Jodes' eyes.::  
D.B: Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown!  
Sax: Hey, Mr.Clown. I know better ways to occupy your time.  
:: D.B. turns at Sax to see her without a top! Sax turns around, and grabs  
hold of the wall she's facing and bends over O.O .::  
Sax: I'm waiting.  
::D.Bs' light saber blows up.::  
D.B: Stay here, I'll kill you later.  
::Sax winks at Jode. Jode moves to a lever labeled "AIR HATCH 5"::  
D.B: Ooooohhh. It's been so long.  
::Jode pulls the switch and the wall Sax is holding open up to outer space.  
D.B. goes flying out the air hatch while Sax is still holding on to the  
inside.::  
D.B: YOU PURPLE BASTARD!!!  
::Jode closes the hatch, Sax gets dressed, and Jode sits back in his  
chair.::  
Jode: Good work Sax.  
Sax: Thank you Sir.  
::D.B, outside the ship, flicks off Jode and crew and his head blows up.::  
Jode: Now, about that hand job?  
THE END  
Hope you enjoyed it! Cause I'm not making a sequel!!!  
Again hope you enjoyed it( 


End file.
